To Sing

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I can’t fall asleep right now and I decided to check my email….tada…I read Sing’s comments. Sing…I hope you don’t get offended any more. Well, to answer, I did say that I’m apologetic. I know that to say something to a friend’s face, I have to be tactful…but this is my blog…so I don’t really feel that I’ve got to be tactful. It’s like an open journal…if I’m not given a space to be tactless, blunt and frank…I might as well delete this blog right here and right now. Anyway, I know that I was disgusting with that idiot before…but there were times when I told myself not to go overboard…but that’s not the point. When it comes to hurting others with words in my blog, I’m not the only guilty person. Imagine how I felt when I read “Patronized and Left Out of the Loop all Within 24h…and I HATE It…”. Those words were hurting too…

*sigh* another thing…pls read my words carefully…I didn’t say that you become a shadow of your bfs and that you have no personality of your own it’s more like you take on similar traits…with your character too. I wrote “mirrors and echoes him” …there’s a difference there. You’re jumping to conclusions and thinking that I’m saying pooh-pooh to optimism. Besides, I have told you several times about how I felt about your PDA with Chow and how you 2 suddenly “disappear” from group meetings (think back to my b’day party). Sheesh..when did I ever write in my blog that I’m not happy that you’re more optimistic bcos of Chow? I didn’t even complain about you being with Chow so often…READ CAREFULLY!!!! You are the only person who keeps misinterpreting my words. Why do I have to defend myself when I use words very carefully on my blog? I did write in the following entry WHY I decided not to delete that entry. I feel that I’m petty about the present thingy…nothing else. Sing…stop thinking that I’m not happy over the fact that you’re happy. I really am. I’m telling you what I see.

I understand that my words were hurting…I’m also telling you that your words in your blog was hurting too…your reason was your hormones. Mine? Just airing out my thoughts and you misinterpreted some, jumped to your own grievances cos those are YOUR insecurities about your relationship with Chow. Think about it. I never onced wrote anything about optimism. You completely skipped over the part where I wrote WHY I left that entry and that I am apologetic about it…you did not have to say that I left it there because I didn’t care anymore. You not hurting me with those words??? Ok…there’s a snide remark there too…it’s about euphemisms…cos your “Patronized” entry was full of it (referring to me) and that pissed me off. The -_- expression is because your definition of tangible was wrong. Re-read my entries my dear girl…and you know me well enough to read it through my personality.

Oh shit…this is turning into a super duper long entry…kns…well…what I’m trying to say in a nutshell is that Sing, do you stop and think about what I am really saying and whether there is some truth in the words? You’re angry about my comments, my comments showed how irritated I was. We’re dealing with 2 different issues and you’ve got a fantastic way of conflating them. I’ve already apologised if my words hurt….what more do you want me to say? I know that I can be brutally honest with you ‘cos you’re my sista. Like the way I know you still love me despite the harsh comments, you know that I love you too ya? Haha…mushy bits now…

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