Tribute to Everyone Who Has Been Shamed For Being Fat/Skinny

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I don’t feel fat until people tell it to me in my face and that’s when I’d usually feel bad about myself. There was a period of time where I’d even get depressed. As in clinically depressed, bawling my eyes out and feeling crappy kind of depressed. It has been many years since then and thankfully, I managed to crawl myself out of that hole but I do know that a lot of people are still suffering similar situations.

A friend of mine posted once about how she knows that she has put on weight but she’s frustrated at how some people are asking her whether she’s pregnant again or offering her all sorts of solutions to lose weight. Another friend of mine had accidentally brushed against an old auntie on CNY eve in the supermarket and was rudely scolded with a “Fat slob! Too greedy and rushing to eat like a pig ah?”, thus ruining said friend’s mood and made her go back to her own hole of self doubt.

It’s not just the fat people who get it. The skinny ones often will get people wanting to feed them (myself included) and people joking about how a wind would blow the skinny people off their feet. Oh my favourite one is probably “you’re so skinny that you use a Cheerio as a hula hoop”.

Why do women do this to ourselves and to fellow females? Sure, we are all blaming the media for giving us an ideal body weight to conform to. However, the media does not tell us to insult each other. This, unfortunately, is a societal thing. How many times have we been told that fat=lazy? And then of course we see images of starving people who are stick thin and that’s where we feel that skinny but healthy people are that size because they’re not eating enough.

I watched an episode of “Extreme Makeover” and for the first time, it was a skinny man who was undergoing the makeover. His issue wasn’t that he wasn’t eating enough. It was that he wasn’t building muscles as he didn’t go to the gym.

As for lazy, I know a lot of people who are fat but are the most hardworking people. There are many other reasons why the weight is piling on and most of the time, it is some emotional reason and not because they don’t have the willpower. Sure, they may say that out loud but if you’ve watched enough makeover shows or read sufficient articles on inspirational weight loss stories, the actual reason a lot of obese people pile on the weight is because they turn to food for comfort and they went on a spiral where they couldn’t get themselves out.

When I look at my old photos, sure, I was much slimmer then but right now, at this moment, the heavier me actually feels happier and more assured about myself. Sure, some of it came due to age but it is also because of an epiphany that I had – my weight does not determine how I feel about myself.

As I said to my friend, we choose how we react and feel. Although insults may make me angry and feel bad for a bit, I tell myself that whatever the insult was isn’t me. I determine who I am and I’m growing stronger and healthier with time and on my own terms. I’m not encouraging obese people to remain obese or underweight people to remain stick thin. What I’m saying is, don’t judge. If you’re judging others, what makes you think that others aren’t judging you? Instead of judging, just work on yourself and help others feel better about themselves. Remember, the over eating is often a symptom of emotional problems.

Which is why, when I went through a workshop and we were forced to really think about WHY we’re setting up our businesses and WHAT we actually are selling, it reminded me that I want to help everyone be body confident. That is why my company‘s motto is “Be The Best Of You”. Now that I’ve been reminded of this fact, you’ll see a lot of changes with Pásshen soon where it’ll be more in that direction and become a platform for holistic plans, advice and solutions to enable you to be more confident about yourselves.

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